How to Act Sane Even if You're Not

You know about being serene, but you just aren't experiencing peace and serenity... well, here's some ideas for avoiding some difficulties in daily life... and some food for thought about being more calm and collected...

[edit] Steps

  1. Accept your circumstances and accept your family, friends and acquaintances opinions. If possible, try to appear to be non-flustered by minor events or by opinions of others, even if you feel upset. Observe other people's behavior when they are distressed. Ask yourself what may have caused their distress so that you may be able to understand and learn from their difficulty.
  2. Take small steps like improving your appearance and get yourself a treat when you have completed your goals. For example, if you have anxiety, depression or you tend to be paranoid. You may slowly expose yourself to situations that challenge you, and slowly learn to conquer your feelings; this takes courage and effort. This is what is called baby steps. Don't start big, start small.
  3. Avoid blaming others, but rather take responsibility for anything that you could have handled in a better way. So avoid acting and talking in a negative way, but you can use positive thinking, and you can be less paranoid yourself by being kind, inspiring gratitude by being nice and helpful.
  4. Think about laughing appropriately and don't rudely discuss or laugh at other people's sensitive topics. Since you may not always pick up cues about other people's feelings, it's smart to ask if they are interested and have time to listen before you launch into an involved discussion of your topics.
  5. Doubt your hearing and your sight. Stop believing that you have super clear hearing. If only a few words are clear, then it very well may be your imagination filling in what you "heard." Doubt your negative interpretations of what you "heard" or "saw;" ignore subtle actions of others, and avoid thinking that you have it all figured out...
  6. Realize that people will treat you better when you do not accuse them of wronging you, "bad mouthing" you or opposing you. Be friendly; so you will feel like people may be on your side.
  7. Maintain eye contact to show confidence, but do not stare. The best way to achieve relaxed eye contact is to look at their left eye briefly and then shift to their right eye. That way you are not so uncomfortable--because you are controlling the way you look at people--without staring.
  8. Believe this: hardly anyone will think that you're odd if you:
    • Act and react calmly--when others might complain loudly or argue or go off half-cocked. So respond quietly when you feel extremely irritated or like raging about a wrongly prepared food order or some such thing; remember that if you make the wait persons and cooks mad they may "accidentally-on-purpose" drop your steak on the floor and pick it up and dust it off, serve it...
    • Don't glare and grimace at people-smile a little; if you're not sure if your brow is furrowed in a frown, casually touch your forehead to feel the wrinkles. Now try to smile and relax. Don't wear a big grin all day or a "never-ending smile" either--try to wipe an uncomfortable grin off your face; relax a little...
    • Avoid erratic behavior--don't act shocked, shake your head, whirl about, giggle (for no apparent reason); Avoid rambling speech--get back on topic;
    • Do not argue or accuse people of insults, etc. in a public place. Does it matter what strangers think? No! Will you be seeing them again--No! Let slights and insults drop; just let it go! Don't worry and don't react to strangers; if it seems that someone is confronting you or disrespecting you, just let it go. They don't matter.
  9. Avoid publicly laughing or "cursing" for no apparent reason or talking to yourself--or muttering and giggling in public--but if you do, then look to see whether anyone is looking at you inquisitively and "say excuse me I just thought of something" and chuckle, but don't explain!
  10. You may enjoy "talking back" to your TV (in private); or call a talk show, or cheer for a ball team on radio or TV, and argue with the 'nuts' opinions on the radio talk programs or news and commentary, etc. But, don't argue or grumble in public.
  11. Hang up the phone and calm down when you get angry or insulted, feeling hurt--calm down and then call back nicely and pick up the conversation with; "We got cut off!" Well, you did and it helps sometimes...
  12. Stop looking over your shoulder constantly. Have you seen a guy walking down the street who was repeatedly looking back and around in an anxious manner. That looks strange right... Maybe he had good reasons, but most likely it was fear or paranoia (not totally composed at that time anyway).
  13. Don't accuse strangers of following you--or even watching what you are doing... They were probably just headed for the same department of the store, or heading up to the front behind you when you are; don't accuse anyone of following you. Just shop in safe stores and walk in well lighted and safe areas with other people, and then think nothing of it--if ordinary people are walking along behind you. Don't confuse taking a stand for safety with 'being defensive'. Since silence is not always so golden, it is good to have some things you are be prepared to say: "I don't think this working out." or "This appears to be an unfounded fear." Such things can do a lot of harm to your nerves if you entertain groundless fears. Reject paranoid thoughts. Say, "I reject that thought!"
  14. Realize that your attitude makes a great impact and that frowning, cynicism, sarcasm and fatalism is a kind of craziness, which may be self-defeating and is "dis-humor"--so lighten up. Also, seeming defensive, depressed, or irritated will validate self-doubt that you may be experiencing.
  15. Find an activity that seems worthwhile to accomplish and get busy. Find activities that are plausible, and that can improve and for which there will be evidence. For instance, if you never see any people involved by your charity, you won't feel much accomplishment for just sending money to some address...
  16. Don't bother grumbling: "Well they should know that..." or "I should be able to do what I want..."
  17. Acknowledge your fears and doubts to someone that you can trust; you're taking away some of its momentum. If you shed light on them--they won't have as much power of the unknown!
  18. Introduce a new positive outlook to every new day. It's a new start today!
  19. Help someone that has less than you and wants some help; this may help your mood and your self-concept, as you take one hour at a time!


[edit] Tips

  • If you are depressed, in a black funk or losing your will to keep trying--make a "todo list" and pick something easy to do first--then something a little harder--to build up your enthusiasm and feeling of success and achievement.
  • If you are alone and lonely-- it should help your mood--to get out among people:
    • Get a book at the library; buy one at a used bookstore or thrift store.
    • Do some light and sensible socializing, especially if you're not up to it--so do what you can to be personable.
    • Beat the blues; join a club, group or organization that features activities of interest to you. Lonely people tend to be interested in a few narrow activities, and uninterested in anything outside of them; so try some new activities, but don't be worried about how you like it; just learn and see if it's a chance to make friends.
  • Strike up some fun and fairly serious conversation (not dominating it) some place, instead of messing around by yourself all day long--get out and about!
    • Go to a coffee shop; or to the donut, bread or pastry bakery; try an eggs and waffles place;
    • Get a light lunch at a "deli" with tables or at a salad bar, burger or sandwich shop;
    • Buy an apple or a banana at a farmers market;
    • Purchase one or two small items that you can use at a variety store like a "dollar store."
  • Call a family member or a friend, but be cheerful and positive minded. Plan for holidays and such with them or any such event.
  • Be a little bit generous (nothing expensive--just a friendly card or a a pencil) and be grateful for what you have for your opportunities in work, or "relaxing" and your friendships.
  • Lower your stress by starting an exercise program like walking at a shopping area or a market or a park; get fresh air and improve your blood pressure. Vigorous activity can make you feel lively and boost your mood and help ease the tensions of your day.
  • Learn to play a guitar quickly and learn something new every day or every week. Make a list of things you want to do before you get "too old" to get out and about (learn how to swim, go fishing or learn a craft).
  • Go to community college or teach yourself so you get the thrill of learning something new and share it with others too.


[edit] Warnings

  • Avoid dishing out insults--like "I bet you were pretty when you were young!"
  • Make sure people are willing to chat and to accept your talk, so you can joke and tease with people in a check-out line and whoever is working the register in the store or cafe, etc.
  • Never expect any object in return--when you give and bring a little bit of light into someone's life--that would be bad mental hygiene for you.
  • Don't be "jealous" when you select and give a small gift to someone who needs cheering up--like expecting thanks, begging for compliments, or for hugs or kisses--but only visit a person that is worse off than you (like at a residence-home for the elderly) so that it will help you to feel an accomplishment.


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Categories:Emotional Conditions

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TakeTheTime, Anonymous, Teresa, Lillian May
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