How to Find the Right Partner or Spouse
Everyone wants to find that perfect future husband/wife they've dreamed of. You can get closer to achieving that goal by following these guidelines.
[edit] Steps
- Figure out what you're looking for. If you don't know, you'll end up settling for whoever comes along.
- Make a written list (short but somewhat detailed) of the top qualities you would like. This should be at least 15 things. Can range from physical features (height/weight/hair color) to "inside" features - honest, faithful, sense of humor. The more you have on your list as your "ideal" person, the less you will settle for what comes along in your life. Use this list as your "guideline" when dating - the closer the person matches your "ideal" the better chance you have of finding the right one.
- Compromise on minor things (like hair color or body type), but never compromise on major issues. If you don't want children, don't date someone who wants a family or has children. If you don't like smoking, don't date a smoker. You want your "ideal" person and he/she is out there. It may take months or so to find them, but in the end it's worth it.
- Use every form of searching - from your own town, to social groups, church groups, and even the internet. Many successful couples have found their "ideal" on the 'net.
- Once you've found that person, take at least 6 months to a year to really get to know them inside and out. Look for any "red flags". If they show any signs of abuse - end the relationship. Be aware of the signs of abuse (physical as well as emotional/verbal).
- If you cannot picture yourself with this person and being happy with them for 30/40 years, then they are not the right person for you. Take marriage seriously to avoid divorce.
[edit] Tips
- Be sure you are compatible in all areas - be willing to talk about everything - major or minor. But you don't have to jump in bed with everyone you date to know if they are compatible.
- Keep in mind that this man/woman is searching for their "ideal" too and if you search long enough you will find each other.
- Go over your list and ask yourself what such a person would see in you. This isn't a call to beat yourself up, but rather, to fix or rethink any obvious variances.
- Suppose, for example, you'd like to marry money. A rich person with any sense won't take up with someone who is overly motivated by wealth; therefore, get your finances in order so that you aren't desperate, can show that you know how to deal with money, and won't be disappointed (at least not financially) by a pre-nuptual agreement.
- Similarly, if you want someone athletic, you should get into shape, as athletes prefer their partners to be in good physical condition. If you want someone religious, join a congregation; if you want someone educated, finish your own degree, etc.
- Obviously, these adjustments might take a bit of work. You may want to prioritize the qualities you're looking for.










