Your relationship with a special guy has come and gone, but now you want him back. Here's how to turn that ex-boyfriend into your significant other once again.

Show Ads

[edit] Steps

Consider why it is you broke up in the first place. Do you really want him back or do you just want him back just because you feel that you can't have him? Were one (or both) of you abusive, controlling, mean, or possessive? Did one (or both) cheat? If any of these things happened, you'll want to think long and hard about going back to that kind of relationship.
Be the person he fell in love with. He was attracted to you because he felt good with you, and you were fulfilling his emotional needs. How have you changed? Correct bad habits and mistakes, if any. Be positive around him. Laugh and smile.
Use the past to your advantage. If he's ever complimented your outfit, wear it again. Or, share a light-hearted memory with him.
Listen carefully to his choice of words. If he ever uses an unusual or uncommon word, casually slip it into the conversation again. This subconsciously tells him that he and you are similar due to exclusive and similar ways of talking.
Casually ask if he'd like to do something non-committal, like have a drink with friends, play miniature golf, play tennis, etc. Something friends and first dates alike can do. And whatever it is, keep it fun. Skip out on the serious talks for now. You'll have plenty of time to talk about that later. That's very threatening to a lot of guys. If he initiates it, follow his lead. But don't go heavy.
Let him know you were thinking about him. Remember that one time you two went to dinner at that great new restaurant and had a fabulous time? Leave him a short email telling him you ate there recently and thought of him. And, by the way, how is he doing? This is a non-threatening way to have a light conversation, and also, a small request for a reply back.
Invite him to talk to you. Express regret things weren't working out between you and ask if you can talk about it now that you have some perspective. Ask if what went wrong was related to what you've been working on. Your ex may have a different perspective!
Pay a little attention to your appearance if you have been neglecting yourself in that department.
If you just broke up (less than a couple weeks) completely ignore him. He will call you if he likes you. If he doesn't then nothing you say or wear will change that.

[edit] Tips

Be yourself. Do not act like someone else in order to be liked - it never works in the long run.
Don't hit on his best friend. It hurts your ex's feelings, but some people use it as revenge.
Be subtle before you try anything obvious, you need to pick up his signals first. You don't want to look desperate.
Tell him you still love him.
Be honest with him and yourself. Let him know you want this to work.
Read The Magic Of Making Up

[edit] Warnings

On-and-off dating can be heart-breaking and even abusive! Always make sure that your intentions for taking him back, or vice versa, are genuine.
Never forget the reason you broke up in the first place.
Never let a man take advantage of you.
Never take a man back if he broke up with you for another girl.Unless you still want him back and you know it was a mistake. Otherwise, he already had his chance with you.
If he tries to cheat on his current girlfriend with you, RUN AWAY. If he's cheating on her now, he will cheat on you if you stay together. Just be friends and call it a day. Just be super nice and say no.
If you think he will hit you some day then he will, RUN and NEVER turn back.
Don't go after your ex if he's married, it will only cause more hurt on your side.
If your friends tell you that he was abusive even if you don't think so, believe them and do not take him back no matter what!