How to Maintain Healthy Boundaries As a Massage Therapist
Setting clear and effective boundaries can be difficult for many people, especially those providing health and wellness care. However, establishing healthy boundaries is a key for career success and life fulfillment in many jobs, especially massage therapy.
[edit] Steps
- Establish clear boundaries from the outset. The best way to do this is through an intake form that clearly articulates the professional standards of your practice.
- In your intake form, be sure to establish appropriate and inappropriate actions that a client may and may not take. For instance: a client should tell the therapist if the pressure is too much or too little, a client should not say or do anything that is sexually suggestive. Additionally, consider this: because the pressure of the massage can turn on the parasympathetic nervous system and cause dilation of the blood vessels, it is common for a man's penis to become erect. This is perfectly natural and involuntary. While it is natural many men do have control over it. Learning to deal with these situations can also give men a chance to heal their personal issues with confusing touch with sex.
- Make your intake form based on your personality. If you might have hesitation asking a client not to do or say something, putting it in your intake form can empower you. Later, if you need to ask a client not to do or say something, you can refer back to the intake form and remind the client of your policies.
- Learn to identify the signals and clues that a client is looking for sexual services. Address them directly if they arise. One example is the question, "Do you accept tips?" A good response would be, "Yes,I accept tips and I don't do sexual massage." But remember someone asking "Do you accept tips" rarely implies that they are only looking for sex, but each situation needs to be looked at individually.
- Don't let anything slide. Clients test and feign innocence when you say something about it. A questionable comment or touch should be addressed as soon as it happens. One phrase would be, "This massage is strictly about me touching you, not the other way around. I will not continue if you do that again."
- It isn't just about sexual boundaries. Setting boundaries also includes your policies and procedures around your business like cancellation policies, late fees/charges, no show policies which teach clients how you want to be treated.
- Boundaries also include things like active listening rather than always giving advice and how much you talk during a session -It is the clients session.
- Boundaries also include things like having dual relationships with clients, having clients as friends, doing trades with clients for other services such as bookkeeping or legal advice. Keeping the roles separate is often the best for preserving the massage relationship
- Transference and Counter transference happen. All relationships actually start with transference. What we are paid for as massage professionals is to be aware of our roles in these dynamics so that we can learn to not get hooked into crossing boundaries and preserving the therapeutic relationship.
[edit] Tips
- Always remember that you have the right to refuse service if a client pushes your boundaries too far.
- There are legitimate massage techniques that can involve the pelvic area as in pelvic myoneuropathy. Trigger points can develop in this area and massage can relieve this condition.
[edit] Warnings
- As soon as you feel a situation getting out of control, call for help.
- Participating in Peer Supervision can help you become more aware of your boundaries and how to hold them










