How to Make Friends when You Are Not Social
Obviously, we are not all social butterflies. We all have our own personalities, weather it's social or, let's face it, anti-social.Even if you are one of these quieter people, it is still quite easy to make and maintain friends without changing your character.
Even if it seems hard to make friends if you are reserved, it will get easier over time.
[edit] Steps
- Let go of all your hatred for people you dislike. Remember that even your dislike for another person affects everyone around you. We're all humans, and we're all mean sometimes. Hate is usually too strong a word to describe your emotion towards another person.
- Make goals of who you want to be friends with. You want to choose people who you can see yourself being comfortable around. Believe it or not, once you get out of high school life isn't a popularity contest.
- Talk to the person you want to be friends with. I know you're not social, but a little chat doesn't hurt anyone right? Texting, IMing, and emailing are great ways to start friendships. Here are some ways to start conversations with people through these ways:
- "Hey, whats up?"
- "I'm so bored, what are you up to?"
- "(Person that person hates) keeps bothering me. He/She is so annoying. ((This, however, is not the best way to go, as it can lead to gossip.))
- This is simple small talk that can flourish into wonderful relationships
- Happiness is key. Don't be a downer, it's not how to make friends. Even if your reserved, have a smile on your face!
- Start conversations. Don't wait for people to talk to you!
- Invite people to go places with you! Go to the movies, invite people to your house, go to the mall. Anything that will let the relationship grow.
- Don't be scared to say, "You can bring a friend."
- Make the invitation subtle. Don't make invitation cards, or be like, "Oh my gosh, I so want to see King-Kong Return of the Ape! Do you want to go see it? It looks so cool!" Just say, "Hey you want to go to the movies?"
- Don't be sad if they keep turning you down. They may just be busy.
- Overlook how the friendship is going after about 3 months. If it's going well, and you've done fun things with them, continue the relationship. If it's not going well, and they seem to think you're an annoyance, back off a little bit from them, and stop talking to them as much. You can still talk to them, but don't be all up in their face all the time.
[edit] Tips
- If you maintain conversation with someone you don't know very well, you may come across as annoying. Talk to them, but if you're not good friends with them, maintain a distance.
- Some people are just impossible, and think reserved folks are just weird. Just ignore these people, they will come around some day.
- When you go some where with somebody, make it fun, not boring. If you go to the movies, do something fun, like throw popcorn at each other.
- Try not to overdo small talk. Part of good communication is moving up the level of disclosure just right. That way, you can let your personality shine through.
- Be yourself, and be consistent. If you tend to swear a lot, do so, but pay attention to how it affects those around you. The same goes for sarcasm: make sure people know what you really mean, and be sure your behavior isn't coming off as obnoxious.










